Day 9 01/19/2026 She reached back out to me today, it felt as if the cold of the winter had vanished and the summer sunshine had poured into my apartment…but then I had to ground myself…not feel hope…but recognize that her words…although powerful…heartfelt, warm, kind, honest…do not change our trajectory of our lives. I would …
Tag: love
A Spark Rekindled
Day 8 (01/18/2026) Yesterday felt like an eternity…my mind tormented itself as my thoughts wrapped around my neck like a python that had slowly slithered from the deep recesses of my mind…suffocating me…and like a phoenix rises from its ashes I felt a sense of relief…I called my brother and the mere presence of his …
Hope to Ash
Day 7 (01/17/2026) Today I woke up feeling great, as if my future was looking bright once again…got through a long workout, was chatting with friends normally without feeling the need to talk about the pain I've been going through…then it hit me like a truck. Grief, pain, hopelessness all over again. It was as …
Confusion and Focus
Day 6 (01/16/2026) I don't know what's going on anymore…I reminisce on moments we had together and I get annoyed at myself that I'll never experience those with her again…but that feeling doesn't last very long anymore…Maybe it's because I've accepted the hard truth…but why does it feel like my heart doesn't hurt anymore…am I …
Realizations
Day 5 (01/15/2026) I think I've finally have reached a point in which the I move without much thought, as if my body has taken over the will power that was in a raging battle within my mind. That's why I felt at peace yesterday…and now I understand the unease I felt as well…I was …
Peace
Day 4 (01/14/2026) I don't know if I've somehow managed to snap back into myself feeling like I've regained control on at least the controllable in my life…because I feel a calmness in my heart. I still feel a minor aching pain, a longing for what was there, an slight annoyance for how naive I …
A day of retroflection
Day 3 (01/13/2026) I fucked up royally with this woman…I was naive…yesterday thinking I was reclaiming my space yes…to make me feel comfortable again…but why did I feel uncomfortable in the first place…not just because she moved in…because I wasn't vulnerable about how I enjoyed my spaces…I wasn't open and honest I liked the fridge …
Day 2 (01/12/2026) – Doing the Next Right Thing
The Morning I woke up at first feeling optimistic about the day, the next easy thing was the first thing in my mind...until it wasn't. It was like blood rushing to the outer extremities after coming into the warmth of your home after a freezing cold day. Memories of her...the good...the bad...the breakup..."what could I …
Continue reading Day 2 (01/12/2026) – Doing the Next Right Thing
Day 1 – First Step Towards Healing
Day 1 - The Morning (01/11/2026) I woke up this morning with tears dried to the corners of my eyes, as if I'd been sobbing all night...yet all I remember is the darkness that I fell asleep to. I begrudgingly crawled out of the warmth of my bed, the bed that used to be ours, …
JHopfer Blog - My Journal and Accountability 