Day 15 - 02/06/2026 It's been a few days since my last kind of mental break…where I sunk back into a looping mess, tangled in a vine of self hatred. I think a lot of this is obviously unresolved trauma from my past…never truly feeling worthy enough from my father or mother…not to say that …
Tag: healing
Healing or am I just looping?
Day 14 02/03/2026 It's been nearly a month since I've started this journey…and I feel like I'm back at square one…questioning my existence…reflecting unhealthily…wishing I could turn back time…maybe it's just a battle that I'm facing with my internal self…my old self and the person I'm trying to be…not to mention her and I rekindling …
Courage
Day 11 - 01/21/2026 I feel like I finally have the courage to charge forth into this unknown future of mine. Not knowing what is meant to be is fine, as it allows me to not dwell on what could be but on what is. What I can change in this very moment about my …
Busy
Day 10 - 01/20/2026 With the workdays becoming more busy I have less and less time to delve into my own head…of course there are still fleeting moments when my heart aches…I'm too busy to work within the emotions that I'm feeling towards my loss…I still try and find time during moments where I can …
Conviction
Day 9 01/19/2026 She reached back out to me today, it felt as if the cold of the winter had vanished and the summer sunshine had poured into my apartment…but then I had to ground myself…not feel hope…but recognize that her words…although powerful…heartfelt, warm, kind, honest…do not change our trajectory of our lives. I would …
Hope to Ash
Day 7 (01/17/2026) Today I woke up feeling great, as if my future was looking bright once again…got through a long workout, was chatting with friends normally without feeling the need to talk about the pain I've been going through…then it hit me like a truck. Grief, pain, hopelessness all over again. It was as …
Peace
Day 4 (01/14/2026) I don't know if I've somehow managed to snap back into myself feeling like I've regained control on at least the controllable in my life…because I feel a calmness in my heart. I still feel a minor aching pain, a longing for what was there, an slight annoyance for how naive I …
JHopfer Blog - My Journal and Accountability 